Let Brothertiger Be Your Guide On The Journey To Living A Life Of Authenticity In ‘Paradise Lost’
John Jagos of Brothertiger; photo credit: Alec Castillo
“I don’t think there was a specific moment,” explained Brothertiger mastermind John Jagos late into our recent phone call discussing the ethos of his latest album, “It’s just something I think about all the time.” Paradise Lost is yet another album serendipitously ripe for the reflective picking that has been delivered to us in quarantine. Although the album wrapped long before lockdown, I’m not sure there’s ever been a moment in the history of humankind where someone isn’t struggling with feeling confident in the defiant decision that’s made daily to live the most authentic version of one’s life. An act which, specifically here in America, is often frowned upon for not falling in line with the toxicity that is American Individualism, when it should instead be lovingly lauded. Jagos has frequently found himself triggered to address this phenomenon in both his everyday life in addition to his time in New York City specifically collaborating with other artists. “I think there is external pressure from just, you know, movies, TV, and just everyday life all around you. It’s just kind of, ‘This is where you should be in your life. This is what you should be doing,’” he detailed. “I feel like I see it all the time. I don’t know. I’ve seen a lot of people who I’ve worked with [...] who are very passionate about something yet they can’t really indulge in it because they have to do their *real job*.”
There are moments in Paradise Lost where I find myself convinced that Jagos is indulging enough for all of us, perhaps as a way to showcase a paradise we can all find within ourselves. An album that, in my impassioned albeit humble opinion, encapsulates the essence of retreating to nature for restorative means from start to finish. Opening with “Found”, featuring field recordings of birds chirping atop a bed of gently bubbling synths within the first few seconds, it blatantly signals while gently easing listeners into the flourishing and soothing soundscapes that are about to bless their ears for the next 46 minutes. “I’ve tended to lean more towards synth sounds that are a bit more like natural sounding [...],” he noted. “You know, they sound like a synthesizer but they don't sound super processed. I like when they have errors or kind of mistakes in them.” He adds, “[...] I tend to use a lot of analog synthesizers because you’re not gonna get the same exact sound out of it every time you turn it on because the analog circuitry just kind of allows for there to be randomness in a way. [...] I think with that a lot of the sounds for this album kind of were a bit more, earthy and natural in the sense that they were a bit more loose [...]. Loose to the grid. Loose to tuning. Just like loose to the constrictions of a song made a computer.”
While most of his previous material has been loosely based on friends or other people’s experiences, Paradise Lost comes from a very personal place. He recounted, “For this [album] I really was thinking a lot about where I wanna be and what I wanna be doing. Just about like being a young person and the expectations that you’re kind of expected to fulfill.” Carefully choosing his words, he volunteered the additional heartfelt observation,
“A lot of friends, acquaintances, and family members, they all kind of just like follow a prescribed sort of path. And there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that. I feel like there’s a lot of pressure and assumption that everyone kind of follows that path. I certainly haven’t because I’ve been pursuing music and my girlfriend’s an actor and she hasn’t been following that path either. [...] I just feel like it’s a stigma that is a part of our society that isn’t really... cool *laughs*.”
“I feel like there’s a lot of pressure and assumption that everyone kind of follows that path. I certainly haven’t.”
With that observation in mind, it should come as no surprise how intentional Jagos is with his messaging throughout the album, making sure to convey that no one has to navigate the complexities of finding the paradise within themselves all on their own. When you are ready to shed the stigma for yourself, he is ready to guide you on this introspective journey as the album drifts on to, “Mainsail”, where he doesn’t shy away from admitting that although even he himself feels lost at times making his way through this thing we call life, that the best way to get through those moments is to embrace those feelings head on, sailing into the tidal break instead of waiting for still waters. In the event you ever realize you’ve gone off course, he’s included a metaphorical north star in the form of the album’s lead single, “Livin’”, featuring a makeshift response for listeners to lean on as a morale boost when shedding external criticism: “I’m living my own life. I don’t care how I get mine. I’m living my own life”. All the more determined, he adds: “I keep my eyes to the sky like anyone else. I keep my nose to the grindstone workin’ myself. I put my hands to the fire and swallow my pride. I keep my deepest desires on an anchor line.”
For the duration of the album you’ll find his eagerness to guide you on your own personal journey shimmering its through on tracks like, “Shelter Cove” (follow down to the river bend, I know the way), even if for whatever reason you were unable to reciprocate the same level of effort as heard on “Cannonball” (I know that I would reach for you. Would you reach for me? [...] I go my own way. Are you with me?). As with any first-class guide, getting you to your destination is a meaningful purpose to him and with songs like “My Canopy” he reminds you that he takes it to heart, perhaps occasionally a bit too much so, in the moments you abandon ship along the way (How could you go away? How could you end me? How could you fall away into the night? I can recover then. I can be anything. I can be anyone that you'd like). One of the most admirable things about approaching this subject matter is how he is vulnerable enough to admit in a song like, “Checking Out” that this quest you’re on together is actually less about the destination and more about the journey, which is ever evolving and requires a commitment to routinely reevaluating the course as a way to ensure it’s still serving its intended purpose (Do I wanna lay an anchor oceanside? Or drift about the open sea?). As always, it’s absolutely your call what you want to do, but he gives you permission to use any hesitations as a moment to steer back on track in the event you’ve wandered off.
My personal favorite moment in this record is “Pyre”, a swift and very brief switch from mostly water based imagery to pure fire. Given the subject matter of the pair of tracks, it’s fairly obvious to a fellow transplant that they’re about his time living in Brooklyn pursuing a career in music. During our chat he shared the story of his first show in the city in 2010 at the now defunct but well renowned Glasslands Gallery, a place where many SKOA favorites graced with their presence. While he was still a college student in southern Ohio (his home state), upon being given the opportunity to perform at the space, drove 10 hours with the assistance of his girlfriend to the city the night before, performed, and then drove back to campus immediately after the show. As we reminisced about the music blogger boom of that era (which this very site was born during), I found it both admirable albeit a bit confusing to hear that in spite of such a story that he wasn’t convinced that he would have been able to see the same amount of success in his career if he had started his attempt further along in his life. Although his hesitancy is valid given how the evolution of music consumption since those days has resulted in a lot of noise with very little signal to elevate lesser known artists as effectively as blogs did back then, I find it hard to believe that someone so determined to transform himself into the kind of artist that wouldn’t be ignored in a metropolitan area as overwhelming greater New York that he envisions it literally engulfing him in flames in the process was ever going to fall by the wayside.
I will say this, it was cathartic as fuck to convene for even a few moments of the conversation about our respective longevity in the city and confide in each other that while it’s a possibility that New York might not be our “forever home”, that it doesn’t strip of us of our title of being “real New Yorkers”, a title that people raised here love to weaponize, especially now during the current mass exodus brought on by the pandemic. We were in agreement that it’s more of a state of mind versus the amount of time your body has been within city limits. He shared, “I have a connection to the city. [...] I came here. I struggled and starved at the beginning[...]. I wanted to prove that I could make it work and you know, cultivate something. And I did! So for that, I feel like New York is a state of mind that I can take with me.” Since I went out of my way to double check with him then, I feel like I should make it clear for both of us now: neither Paradise Lost or what you’re reading right now should be interpreted as our own personal, “Why I’m Leaving New York” essays, but from the sounds of things we are both keeping our options open. “I don’t want to be in one place,” he said. “Especially while I’m young. This was a great place for me to be in my 20s and now I’m 30 so you know...time to go! *laughs*”
“I have a connection to the city. [...] I came here. I struggled and starved at the beginning[...]. I wanted to prove that I could make it work and you know, cultivate something. And I did! So for that, I feel like New York is a state of mind that I can take with me.”
Of all the things I’ve come to treasure about Paradise Lost since my first taste, the thoughtful little details that extend beyond the way he wields a warbling synth are definitely some of my favorites. Unbeknownst to most, Jagos has been featuring his father’s oil based paintings as the artwork for his most recent bodies of work, including for Paradise Lost and its accompanying singles, “Livin’”, “Shelter Cove”, and title track.
As he detailed,
“[The album artwork is] a painting my dad did back in the 80s. [...] I've always really liked the painting because it's like it's kind of dark and brooding in a way. Him and I have always been…. like we work in a similar way. [...] He recalls events of his past in a way in his paintings, but he also paints his dreams and things like that. I’ve just always had a connection to his artwork [...]. This record was, I feel, very west coast [...]. A lot of these paintings he did when he was living in Santa Barbara, so that’s another thing why it just makes sense. A lot of these paintings are kind of scenes of places I was thinking of in my mind when I was writing. So it kind of just worked out perfectly.”
As much as I was admittedly a little jealous to learn the extent to which his passion was supported by his family, I definitely have to give the man props for not only being able to recognize how beautiful and rare that is at present, and what he chose to do with that perspective in terms of how I assume it informed this record as a result. “Luckily my family’s extremely supportive of what I do,” he said. “I didn’t get any pressure from my family like my parents being like, ‘Okay well like you know you’re doing this it’s great but maybe you should like consider like you know A REAL JOB’ *laughs* stuff like that. They never did that and they still are super supportive of me. [...] I had friends who wanted to do something and their parents were like, ‘Well you’re going to get a business degree.’ It’s just like... it sucks.”
Rounding out the record with the title track, Jagos reinforces how important it is that we all venture out on this journey to becoming the most authentic version of ourselves. He recognizes that although our respective quests may begin during various points in our lives and take us to a variety of places along the way (You and I move through life on a different route. Comes down to the paths we pursue.), that the mere act of chasing the destination will always be what makes life worth living regardless of how long we’re at it (Realize that it takes time to see things through What’s the point of living high without a view?). Although obviously championing how deeply transformative this kind of kind of inner work can be on a person, he is still very adamant that “paradise” is just as much a state of mind as being a New Yorker is, as he clarified,
“No matter where you live, like anywhere, it’s never going to be *the perfect place*. There’s going to be problems with it. [...] Actual paradise I don’t think *exists* on this earth. But it’s fine. It’s totally okay to accept that. It’s kind of like a call to accept some things for the way they are. And that’s like a personal call for myself[...] If you can take the place where you are, the place where you were, and think of it like a learning experience or think of it as a place where you’re cultivating something then it becomes a sort of paradise for you in terms of like... this is like the only life you have. So it’s like, you know, you shouldn’t think of things as mistakes, just more of learning experiences.”
Paradise Lost is out now courtesy of Satanic Panic Recordings.
